From Rejecting French to Speaking 4 Languages: Lessons for Raising Multilingual Children

My Story

Let me tell you a story: my story. This is how I learned to speak 4 languages, even with learning gaps of over 10 years.

I was born and raised in Spain; my parents are international: my mother is Spanish but grew up in France, and my father is French. In theory, this should have given me an advantage to master at least two languages from birth. However, neither of them maintained a consistent strategy to help me absorb those two languages early on.

Furthermore, there was a certain sense of “rejection” toward French at home; it wasn’t extreme hatred, but strong enough to shape my own perspective. Even today, I still harbor some negative feelings toward the language. Until adolescence, I refused to learn, speak, or read French. This changed thanks to opportunities that arose later on.

This story is important for two reasons:

• The family’s relationship with the language: The way adults perceive or express their feelings about a language directly impacts how children view it during their development. Believe me when I say that children pick up on those feelings and, even if they don’t fully understand them, they replicate them.
• The importance of metacognition: Throughout my language learning journey, I realized that reflecting on how we learn is just as important as the learning process itself. Metacognition allows us to identify our strengths, weaknesses, and the most effective strategies to progress independently.

French, a Roller Coaster

This part might seem curious. I’ve already mentioned that my parents speak French, but I also attended the Lycée Français in Alicante. So, you might wonder: why did I only learn to speak French during my teenage years? Well, I wasn’t a model student until high school. I was one of those who skipped classes and paid little attention. However, there was one positive aspect of this experience: I was used to hearing a language different from Spanish.

That continuous exposure to French, even if passive, allowed me to develop a solid foundation for pronunciation. When I finally decided to learn it, I acquired a fairly native accent in a relatively short time. Over the years, I earned my high school diploma, bachelor’s degree, and master’s degree in France.

A key point in achieving an advanced level was what I call the double A: Attitude and Aptitude. In my case, what was missing wasn’t aptitude (as I had it from early exposure), but rather attitude.

I realized that the only thing holding me back from learning this language was my attitude. Until I changed that perspective, I didn’t make any progress.

So, how did I change and decide to learn French? To start with, I moved with my family to France for a year during my teenage years. On top of that, my younger sister had just been born, and our parents began speaking to her in French.

That change of environment, along with the arrival of my sister, transformed my perspective and shifted my attitude toward French. That’s how I ended up dedicating a lot of time and energy to learning the language.

English: One Person Changed Everything

Even though I had improved my attitude toward French, English was still a taboo subject for me. Everything changed thanks to an exceptional high school teacher. Without him, I would never have achieved the level of English I have today. This teacher helped me adjust my attitude and build the foundations I was missing: essential grammar, basic vocabulary, and other key concepts I had ignored for years.

This highlights something important: as adults and parents, we sometimes assume that children and young people acquire the basics of English (or another language) just by attending class. But all it takes is one bad teacher or a tough year to accumulate gaps and difficulties that snowball into a “snowball effect”.

I’m not suggesting that the entire class should be adapted for a single student, but it is our responsibility to talk with the student, understand their struggles and motivations. If we’re parents, we can take the initiative to seek extra support or review the material together.

In my case, that first-year high school English teacher gave me the tools to become independent in improving and learning. Additionally, he sparked my curiosity: I started watching videos and consuming content in English, even while making mistakes. What was great was that he didn’t overwhelm me by correcting all my faults at once: at the end of each presentation, he pointed out the most critical mistakes so I could process them gradually.

Nowadays, with so much technology, it’s hard to find someone who will correct just one or two errors progressively. Often, a long list of mistakes can overwhelm and demotivate us. It’s better to correct bit by bit and focus on the essentials. Even if it feels like you’re not making progress because there are always new errors, this strategy avoids mental overload (cognitive load).

Remember Miller’s Rule (popular in user experience design): when we have too many options (or mistakes), we get stuck and don’t know where to start.

Over the course of two years, I went from being unable to introduce myself in English to holding fluent conversations in class. By the time I got to university, I already knew how to continue improving. It took me three more years to achieve a C2 level in English, but I made it.

Exploring Japanese: From Curiosity to Metacognition

I have to admit that I had no interest in learning Japanese—or any other language—until my final year of high school. That’s when I met a friend who was fascinated by Japanese culture and introduced me to Japan and its language. In fact, we ended up completing our bachelor’s degree together, and in the process, my curiosity about Japanese gradually grew.

At first, I simply followed the educational plan offered by the university in Japanese classes. However, after finishing the first year, I realized that this approach wouldn’t get me to the level I wanted. I wanted to speak and understand Japanese fluently, not just pass an exam. That’s when I began reflecting on my own way of learning, questioning traditional teaching methods, and diving deeper into concepts of cognition (learning) and metacognition (learning how to learn).

This turning point was crucial: I realized that the university was actually giving me the foundations. It wasn’t meant to make me a perfect speaker overnight but rather to provide me with the fundamental tools to learn independently. In other words, it introduced me to essential grammar and vocabulary, but the real practice, immersion, and continuous improvement were up to me. It was like opening my eyes to a new world: understanding that teachers guide you, but you’re the one who decides the final direction.

How to Apply This Learning at Home: A Parent’s Perspective

My story with Japanese may seem like an isolated example; however, it’s highly relevant when talking about raising children in a multilingual environment. Just as I discovered the importance of metacognition for my own learning, parents can and should learn to recognize how their children absorb the world around them. Not all children learn the same way, and that is precisely the key to fostering curiosity, motivation, and a love for languages at home.

• Observe Their Learning Styles: Some people learn better visually (drawings, illustrated books), others need more auditory interaction (songs, stories), and some benefit from kinesthetic practice (role-playing, crafting with vocabulary).
• Guide Without Imposing: Just as the university gave me “foundations” but I had to take the step to progress, parents can provide multiple resources (books, apps, music) and observe what sparks the child’s curiosity the most.
• Encourage Autonomy: In the long run, a curious child is more likely to keep practicing or learning the language. Of course, giving them the option to “choose” (e.g., which story to read, which song to sing, or which vocabulary game to play) is a step that will help achieve linguistic independence.
• Maintain a Positive Attitude: If we demonstrate an optimistic and enthusiastic view of languages, our children are more likely to want to emulate us.

Conclusion: Attitude and Metacognition

My experiences with French, English, and Japanese show that attitude and metacognition are fundamental tools for learning any language. We can be born surrounded by different languages and still reject learning them if our environment or perspective isn’t positive. Likewise, we can “hate” a language and later turn it into an area of expertise, provided we have an open attitude.

To raise bilingual or multilingual children, maintain an atmosphere of trust, observe your children’s learning styles, and, when possible, encourage their autonomy. Remember: it’s never too late to start learning a new language or to change the way we view it. With these two pillars (attitude and metacognition), any family can create a supportive environment and lay the foundation for a linguistically enriched future.

If you’d like more tips on turning your home into a multilingual environment or need specific guidance for your family, contact me. I’d be happy to help you design a strategy tailored to your children and their unique way of learning. Together, we can lay the groundwork for a future full of linguistic opportunities!